The Art of Giving
When she cracked open the spine, she was speechless.
Her honeymoon was still 6 weeks away, and getting a travel guide was a nice touch. But it wasn’t until she opened it until she realized how far the idea went, that made it feel so special.
When she mentioned to her advisor that she was getting married in the fall and going to Italy for their honeymoon, she didn’t think much of it. It was a casual conversation between reviewing the portfolio and its performance.
Receiving a travel guide to Italy made complete sense. It was practical and logical. Another reason to “stop by” and check in on how she was doing.
But anyone can buy a travel guide. This advisor took it a few steps further.
The advisor bought her the most recommended travel guide to Italy, dogeared the areas she was going to visit, and both circled her recommendations and made notes in the margins. Without actually being there to oversee the itinerary, she did her best to help guide in a way that made it clear that she actually cared.
That’s exactly the point.
That story was told to me years after it actually happened. It was one of the most special things that ever happened to this advisor’s client. It had nothing to do with the value of the gift, and everything to do with the thought behind it.
See, your clients can buy whatever they want. It’s not the “thing” that makes a gift special. It’s the reason why you’re giving the gift in the first place. That gift, at that moment with that very specific message. Ideally you want to see how far you can take the idea.
Gaining the insight into what gift would work best, is usually the hardest part but if your eyes and ears are open, you’ll discover what could be a great gift for someone.
There needs to be a reason and you need to know enough about the person to be able to make the gift work, conceptually. Sometimes it’s a life event, other times it’s a cultural one, so you can play off that.
It’s what you do with that gift to elevate it in some way that really matters.
There are 3 ways to make a gift special.
Timing. The best time to give a gift is when it’s not expected. That’s how you can easily layer in the element of surprise. I know someone who gives holiday gifts in January, so that it doesn’t get lost with all the other gifts they’re getting over December. Genius.
Personalizing. You can take a gift “off the shelf” and customize it with the recipient’s name or initials. Some of the large brands offer customization on their websites. Apple, Nike, RayBan all offer customization if you buy from them directly online.
Storytelling. What you learned about the item, who made it, where it’s from, how you found it can all play into how you tell the story of the gift that’s given. When you have a great story to pair with the gift, it becomes both remarkable and unforgettable.
This article written by Chip Colwell, an anthropologist explores why people give gifts, a practice that can be traced back centuries. He cites a French anthropologist, Marcel Mauss from his famous essay “The Gift” and writes, “Mauss’ ideas do not promote runaway consumerism. On the contrary, his explanations of gifts suggest that the more meaningful and personal the present, the greater the respect and honor being shown. A truly thoughtful gift is far less likely to end up in a dump.” If you’re going to give a gift, make it worthwhile for the recipient. Try to make it as memorable as possible, even by just taking one extra step to make it special. In the words of Marie Kondo, does your gift spark joy?
If you’re going to give a gift, make it worthwhile for the recipient. Try to make it as memorable as possible, even by just taking one extra step to make it special.
Sometimes there's a misconception that gift-giving is bribery. It’s not if you’re going to give the gift anyway. Bribery is having an expectation to come from giving the gift in the first place. What we’re discussing is elevating an experience that you were going to provide anyway to make it memorable.
Because the reaction you’ll get is addictive. It’s like getting a standing ovation, and from there you’ll only want to do it again.